You'd think punctuality had become passe. After all, we're now a country of perpetual latecomers and, ironically, we have modern technology to thank. How so? Because we have multiple ways to send a "Sorry—be there soon!" message, a lot of the shame we used to feel over wasting someone's time has been removed.
Texting, in particular, offers a perfect way to broker a little leeway. You can relay whatever's holding you up ("Alarm snafu!") without having to hear the annoyance in your pal's voice. And you can pre-apologize for keeping her waiting. "You may have every intention of arriving on time," says William Powers, author of Hamlet's BlackBerry: A Practical Philosophy for Building a Good Life in the Digital Age, "but the presence of a mobile in your purse makes you think it's not a big deal if you're late."
What's the Holdup?
The reasons we're late in the first place are as varied as our excuses—and many of those reasons operate just outside of our awareness. Dan Ariely, Ph.D., a professor of psychology and economics at Duke University who studies irrational behavior, says a major cause of lateness is believing that "things will go smoother than they actually do throughout the course of a typical day." More specifically, people fail to plan for the varying nature of the delays they'll encounter. While they know they should tack on a little additional time for traffic tie-ups on the bridge or a lost set of keys, he says, they routinely ignore the fact that, on average, other stuff can—and usually does—go wrong: For example, you rip your skirt getting into the car, run inside the house to change, and accidentally let the dog out.
But less obvious things can also cause you to fall behind schedule. Let's say you're on your way to see a friend whose overbearing personality has always made you feel a bit uneasy. "Those ambivalent feelings can actually make you later than you normally would be," notes Elizabeth Fitelson, M.D., director of the women's program in the department of psychiatry at Columbia University. Even though you may not be fully cognizant of these feelings, your reluctance ends up slowing you down. Suddenly, everything from finding a different shade of lipstick to checking that long list of e-mail messages seems more important than getting out the door at the time you know you should.
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Last updated: April 21, 2011 Issue date: April 2011
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